Torn between two loves…

I love writing in longer formats, and creating this newsletter was a key writing goal. Yet, there was a point in my life when I nearly buried the idea for good. I allowed old fears to distort my thoughts and, in addition to health issues, I was easily persuaded by other distractions that completely knocked me off my path.

There are many forms of fear. More often than not, fear drains our energy & depletes our willpower. Fear delays us from pursuing passions or robs the focus required from creating altogether. These “fun” distractions - screen time (social media scrolling, video games, TV shows or Netflix), binging on favourite foods, & online shopping/browsing, to name a few - can easily make us forget how valuable our time is.

These activities also provide some form of comfort & security, making it hard to choose where to spend our time.

I'm a potato chips girl myself. I can eat them all day. Yet my main vice and fall-back has always been the Daytime Emmy Award-winning series… THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS. Seriously, what is up with Jack Abbott??? How can he be in love with Diane Jenkins again after she faked her own death, deserted her little boy Kyle, and blamed ex-wife Nikki Newman for her fake murder nearly 12 years ago? How do I remember all of this information??? More importantly, WHY DO I FLIPPIN’ CARE SO DAMN MUCH???

Because I am afraid, that's why. Afraid to get started on my own creative endeavours. Afraid of what other people will think. Afraid of failure. Afraid to give up my love for trashy TV. Instead, I distract myself with Diane's fake death and Victor Newman's moustache.

There were times in my writing journey when I wasn’t afraid…

My first newsletter in the late 1990s was one I would type on the spot in my university computer lab. It was a mass email I would send out to friends. I had little fear of what people thought. I just blurted about all the things I loved about my life.

“Naddy’s Newsletter” evolved into a more curated newsletter in the 2000's. It was all for fun and it came from the heart each time. Unfortunately, I allowed other negative thoughts to influence my confidence.

The newsletter died. I let it die. I allowed a part of my creative energy to wither away about the same time Victor's sperm was stolen by Ashley Abbott (former Newman ex-wife #3) to procreate a baby girl in secret, which Brad Carleton raised as his own child for many years before his impending demise.

And as I watched more of this debacle unfold on my TV screen, my confidence dwindled. I barely wrote creatively, and my fear bubbles became larger and larger.

Last year, I started to write regularly again after a long hiatus. The fear bubbles began to shrink a bit. As I wrote more, I reflected more. I became more confident and less afraid. I knew I needed to continue and pivot my love of writing for my overall health and happiness.

Launching a newsletter was a goal I continued to delay. Despite everything I accomplished with my daily writing, the newsletter itself haunted me. I believed there would never be enough time to create or maintain a newsletter. I distracted myself with Y&R rather than recognizing the true drama curating in my mind.

It took many months to realize I was torn between at least two competing loves vying for my time.

I knew I couldn’t make more time, so I assessed where my time was being spent. I was pretty surprised with the results of my time “audit.” Watching Victor Newman scheme to win back the trust of his vindictive & devious son Adam (father of Sally Spectra’s unborn child 🤯) amounted to five hours every week that I wasn’t writing. Well, I’ll be damned… FIVE HOURS!!! That’s like six whole weeks in the Soap Opera world! What values does Y&R bring to my life?

The only lessons I should be taking from Victor Newman is that he is confident in everything he does and not afraid of taking risks. Seriously, this guy has been shot at, stabbed, poisoned and suffered through multiple “mysterious” illnesses for over 40 years. He keeps coming back on top like the a-hole phoenix that he is, which is like my newsletter (without the mustache…and the a-holeness).

Now I’m writing even more, watching less, and feeling more confident daily when working on my newsletter. I pruned down on distractions and reallocated a few hours each week to achieve my writing goals.

Thank you (and sorry/not sorry), Victor.

Turning off the TV now…

Time seems like it flies. It doesn’t. I allowed the time to fly to my TV screen. And in the end, Victor Newman can't write this newsletter for me. Interesting idea, but nah…

It’s time for me to move on from Soaps… and back to potato chips! (I can eat and write… right? 🤣)

I appreciate that you took time out of your day to read this post!

Wishing you all the best in harnessing your precious time for creative success.

~Naddy / Nadine