Belonging

I am not one for labeling myself, yet there is one I can’t seem to shake off.

WEIRDO.

At least, this is how I felt at times in my life when I thought I did not belong anywhere.

But is this true? 

The Great GONZO was not my favourite Muppet growing up, yet he was the Muppet I related to the most. Up until 1999, Gonzo was classified as a “WHATEVER.” He is quirky, romantic, and funny with his girlfriend Carmella (a chicken). He is an artist in his own right, never afraid to take risks. The other Muppets accepted Gonzo as he was - the weird, quirky friend who enjoyed crazy stunts. Even when he ate a rubber tire to the music of “Flight of the Bumblebee,” Kermit always had his back. 

In 1999, MUPPETS FROM SPACE destroyed Muppet lore and gave Gonzo a backstory. This movie proclaimed to the world Gonzo was an ALIEN. Because weirdos can’t be from Earth, right?  I was furious. First off, where the heck was Carmella throughout the entire movie? You’re boyfriend nearly left you for outer space!!! Secondly, what happens now with Gonzo being unearthed as a Space weirdo?

Despite the discovery (alongside other capers and a sweet 70’s soundtrack), the other Muppets continued to embrace Gonzo as part of the tribe and supported him to the end. They didn’t care if he was an Earthling or an alien. Gonzo was lucky to have a place on Earth and in Space where he belonged. 

Ironically, 1999 was a pivotal year in my life. I had to rediscover who I was and what I wanted in this reality. Why couldn’t I be a Muppet? I wanted a Muppet family of my own and, in particular, a Kermit to my weirdo… I mean, Gonzo.

Belonging is a human trait we all strive for.  As we grow physically and emotionally, we seek to belong with others with similar interests and ideals.  Whether at school, work, home, or in other social environments, belonging nurtures a powerful sense of self-identity.  This motivates us towards successful outcomes in our lives.

Belonging is not always about family, community, or love. Sometimes we just want to know we are not alone.

Certain events in life make us question our sense of belonging. When one concludes they do not belong, it can manifest fears, self-doubt, isolation, and depression. We may set ourselves up for a loss of self.

I’ve watched my daughter work through her own waves of belonging while at school. It has been humbling to have open conversations about her experiences and recount mine.

I could tell you stories about my childhood. Instead, let’s fast-forward to University. I tried to start anew in a new city with people who didn’t know my past. I wanted to fit in badly so I reinvented myself to make new Muppets… I mean, friends. 

Four years quickly came to an end. “Friends” went their separate ways. The first “Naddy’s Newsletter” in my twenties and early thirties was an attempt to keep my little family together, a family I worked hard to find. I think my open weirdness was a bit much for some to handle. The negative feedback I received from individuals made me pause the newsletter and writing for many years. I used to blame myself for not being able to keep friends. It took me a long time to understand I never belonged with these faux Muppets (or MOOPETS).    

It wasn’t all doom and gloom (so put away the tissue!). I have a few Kermits in my life where I can be myself. I met my first Kermit around the age of four. Despite the distance (moving neighbourhoods, different schools, separate cities), our 30+ year friendship remains strong. 

Some of my other Kermies appeared or reappeared around 1999. One in particular made my weirdness seem “normal.”  He related his own experiences of struggling to belong, yet appeared more self-assured than I was. We became soul weirdos, comfortable in our own skin around each other.  He encouraged me to embrace my creative side and not fear others’ opinions. And he’s a fan of Gonzo and MUPPETS FROM SPACE. I don’t hold it against him… much.

Writing & journaling remains a safe place for me to be WEIRD. Until recently, I didn’t realize how powerful a tool it was to understand how I belong or don’t belong. 

I used storytelling to express certain parts of my personality at a young age while weaving it into popular themes others enjoyed.  Certain characters and scenarios in stories would mimic real life in a humorous way to capture attention. When I felt alone, I created a community of one with my words.

As I became older, I shared more of my passions and fears. Through writing, I met others in similar scenarios. Despite those who went out of their way to critique my writing, others encouraged me to keep going. I didn’t know at the time these positive influencers were already a part of my community, despite my self-doubt.

I can revisit my story at any time with writing. In turn, it is easier to empathize with others on a similar path and to understand why I would have waves of insecurity in a relationship.

 Why is “fitting in” always a challenge for me? 

Until recently, I didn’t believe I DESERVED to belong anywhere. Those were all lies I fed myself for decades to ease the pain and appease others. I used to allow other people’s fears from my past to dictate my present & future.

Through writing, I learned not every family can fulfill every need for belonging.  I survived high school by having different bubbles, or groups, of friends. My adult years are similar. Various bubbles appease different aspects of my inner weirdo. At times, they overlap.

It’s easier today to belong to something with current technology. Weirdos are encouraged to be weird on social media.  I was afraid of it for a long time.  Now, I have a supportive community on Twitter/X. Welcoming (Twitter) Spaces (similar to podcasts, but not) make me comfortable to share my story and be true to my weird self. I am open to exploring other platforms because of my Twitter experience.

I’m called a WEIRDO by people who don’t understand my purpose and may be insecure in their own. If I have to choose a label, I would prefer the word DISTICTIVE… even though it doesn’t matter. I am redefining my purpose continuously. A label is only as sticky as I want it to be. 

Today, my community consists of humans across the globe in various stages of their creative journey. We grow and expand together through words, art, and other forms of expression. We respect each other’s unique perspectives. My sense of belonging blooms each day. There is still much to unravel, yet I’m learning to tap into my inner strength to use my voice more.

There will be times when you feel like you don’t fit in anywhere. Please know this is not true. There are over 7 billion humans on this earth. If you are reading this, you are not alone. I embrace and share my experiences as a reminder. We don’t need to be a Muppet island of one. As you join me along my writing journey, I hope you will also discover where you belong.

Take care and embrace your weirdness, fellow creatives.

Naddy / Nadine