A Change Is Brewing

I love coffee. My morning ritual, after writing, involves waking up my husband to grind beans and brew grounds with a French Press. I prefer sipping coffee at home than guzzling a cup of java purchased outside. It is not the expense of overpriced coffee scaring me away.  It’s the multitude of options. I do not enjoy being in line trying to decide whether or not to get drip coffee, espresso or a variation of other things. Ugh, or the “flavour of the month.” I don’t care if it’s “pumpkin season.” Then there are the extras. Do I add sugar or honey?  Did you know they squeeze milk out of macadamians now? All this coffee stress has made me hungry. Should I buy a cookie? A donut? A macaron? A cinnamon bun? Wait, is it a bun or is it a roll??? Too many choices!

All of a sudden, I am at the front of the line. My heart is racing (usually due to lack of caffeine). I don’t want to decide, yet I’m out of time. What did my friend order? How did she choose her java easily? Do I let the cashier (or “barista”) choose for me? Should I give up and walk out?  Heck, do I even want a coffee anymore? I’m only here for my friend. But the sweet, sweet smell…

I blurt out my order (a large “whatever” with not freshly squeezed nut milk), join my friend at a table, and share a new story about my cats. She laughs, we hug, and both leave with the “Let’s do this again soon!” speech. 

Sigh. I love coffee.

I love writing more than coffee. Beyond my daily writing ritual, I have choices to make each week based on the list of newsletter themes I maintain. Depending on recent experiences or new learnings, I will choose a theme and get to work. At times, one theme will branch out into multiple newsletters as I write. Occasionally, I am compelled to pivot to another topic at the last minute because I’m motivated by a recent event. 

This week was different. I struggled to commit. I have multiple first drafts and a huge list of themes. I have over two years' worth of journal entries. I have essays and short stories in various phases ranging from first drafts to publication-ready. For some reason, my gut refused to stick with one idea for this week’s newsletter. 

One of my subscribers (also a dear friend) described my newsletter as being at a coffee shop with an old friend (me) and listening to a good story (also me). My cup overflows with happiness when thinking of the analogy. It’s nice to receive feedback and know people find the newsletters entertaining. However, these stories are living documents. I may choose to work on a specific theme or old draft to discover I'm not even the same person anymore. I read these drafts and think, “Who the flippin’ freak is this person?” I end up spending a fair amount of time rewriting the story. I want to spend less time doing this. 

When a weekly deadline looms, my heart races like being at the front of the line at the coffee shop as my friend patiently waits for me while he or she sips their macchiato. What should I do? Allow others to choose for me? Use the “eeny meeny miny moe” method? Punch my gut into submission (too soft)? Wallow in my sorrow (too easy)? Quit writing and walk away (heck, no)? Lowball it and stick to coffee puns for the rest of this newsletter (wait for it…)?  

“Going with the flow” alongside a self-imposed deadline doesn’t always work together. Having enough ideas isn’t the problem. Committing to one idea to share in time is the issue. It is also a blessing and an opportunity.

As creatives, we grow with our current endeavours and future ideas to build confidence with each choice we make. Writing is currently brewing in different avenues of my journey. I want to be respectful of my time (and others) to create even stronger content. I also believe in prioritizing self-care for the best energetic and creative output. Self-care is more important to me than ever, as well as developing my skills and reintegrating with communities. I don't want to burn myself out more than I need to. 

I will continue to follow my gut and go with the flow. Keeping to a weekly newsletter schedule at this time is difficult when the gut continues to pivot at the last minute. Yet, I am still committed to sharing my journey in this format. I originally committed to our Thursday coffee dates. I’ve been thinking about the weekly publication “a latte.” With March Break around the corner, I won’t produce a newsletter next week. This is the perfect time to move to bi-weekly publications/coffee dates (and I’ll throw in a cinnamon bun… or roll).

I want to spend more time with my family and friends. But not only at coffee shops. The writing journey has multiple paths. I will miss the weekly coffee shop gatherings. The bi-weekly visits will be fun, too. There will be many more cat stories to share after two weeks… in addition to coffee puns!

I’m excited about working on other projects. Some are new creative endeavours which will intersect with my newsletter content. I don't want to duplicate work with this newsletter and other projects in progress or ready to percolate.    

When working on multiple projects, ensure needs are addressed (including self-care) for the best creative output. Allow your inner strength to brew while being comfortable to pour into multiple cups.

I'm grateful for the mugnificent support for my journey and this newsletter. Words cannot espresso how much your support beans to me. Without it, I wouldn't consider taking on additional projects. I look forward to sharing what's upcoming (now every two weeks). I’ll avoid the puns if you bring the buns (or rolls - both are sweet!).

Have a fa-BREW-lous day, fellow creatives. 

Nadine