The Month That Blows...?

I’ve come to an important revelation in my life.

October is the WORST.

I thought September was weird. I made it through. OCTOBER…what’s up with this month?

The days are darker and the energy is low, not only with me but those I encounter everywhere I go. Family and friends are moody. The cats are lethargic. Nobody is watching where they are driving, walking or biking. Everybody on public transit is either a zombie or a wraith (the Urban Bus Cowboy would be considered “normal” in comparison). Strangers are less kind. I’ve felt my subconscious being attacked 24/7. To top it all off, the Y&R plotlines are HORRIBLE right now.

When I talk to others, they are experiencing something similar yet can’t necessarily explain it clearly. It’s a low vibration permeating within their being. This is sometimes labelled as “Adulting.” It is far beyond that.

I’m unsure how I reached this point. The worst are the days when I’m alone with my thoughts and I feel alone. FEAR is rubbing its hands together, hiding in the shadows, waiting for the slightest crack to slip through.

How does one remain positive or neutral when surrounded by a negative charge everywhere they go?

The term “self-care” is thrown around loosely to sell perfume and massage oils. It is a real thing one can incorporate daily for little or no money. I promise I am not trying to sell you anything… yet.

If I have permission to sell you anything, it is this - be honest to yourself.

How are you true to yourself? How do you show yourself self-care when you feel burnt out?

One way I do this is through writing.

I am grateful to recognize I can write out my feelings to gain perspective on my thoughts. The more I write, the more I:

• Learn to be kinder to myself;

• Catch myself in the act of self-pity;

• Remind myself how much I have to be grateful for;

• Create a space to be raw with my emotions; and

• Reflect on what is true, what feelings I have control over and what I can change.

A perfect example was on Day 614 of my writing journey. I woke up at 3am from an odd dream. My head ached. My throat felt like it was on fire. I wrote in my journal to capture this moment and ended the entry with:

I closed my journal and when I tried to fall back asleep, other thoughts rummaged through my head. Many broken naps later, I re-read what I wrote in my journal. I was sad. Not because of how I felt, but because of what I wrote: “I have no one to talk to.”

This was a big fat LIE.

I was out of town at the time, so I texted the hubby early in the morning. We ended up having a long phone conversation. He reminded me to not keep my focus on the door that is closing as many more doors are opening.

I reviewed earlier journal entries and noticed I went through a similar experience last year around the same time. What’s up with October??? I have documented proof of making it through this month last year. I didn’t understand how powerful and important writing was for me as a form of self-care until I started to reflect on past writing. I can recognize these low-vibration waves faster than before because of my daily routine and using reflection to see patterns.

Fear has a pattern of appearing around this time of the year when I am at my most vulnerable. I was able to recognize the signs earlier because of my journal and my daily writing practice.

I know not everybody believes they are a “writer” or can start a journal. There are many other ways to express your thoughts: audio, video, mind-mapping, vision boards, planners, drawing and painting, music and more.

Being able to write down my feelings is more than self-care. It is self-love. No massage oils are required. Only me and words… getting real on the page.

BREATHING sounds redundant, yet it is easily taken for granted. There are days when I write frantically to get ideas out of my head and I don’t realize how shallow my breathing is. This creates more anxiety - I drown in my own words as opposed to calming down by writing them out. I am getting better at recognizing these moments and pulling my head out of the water. While it is still free to do so, remember to take a deep breath when feeling overwhelmed.

There are other things I do or want to do, outside of writing, to face the fear in the shadows. How many of these activities have you done for your self-care? What would you add to this list?

• Eat well.

• Stretch. Exercise. Go for a walk.

• Take good care of your crown (head/hair) and feet.

• Be mindful of time spent on social media.

• Wear clothing that makes you happy. Be rid of the clothes that do not.

• Keep in touch with friends. Reach out to those you haven’t heard from in a while.

• Get outside in nature, regardless of the weather. Savour the moments outdoors. Touch a tree.

• Dance freely.

• Showcase kindness with no strings attached.

• (If you have kids:) Play with your kids.

• (If you have pets:) Play with your pets. Pet them often.

• BREATHE (can’t say it enough!).

• Exercise patience.

Time flies when you’re anxiety-ridden. I’m sad about not seeing Sharpie, my bird friend, at my window. I miss hearing the birds in the morning and the lack of sunlight. Writing creates another light for me to shine onto the FEAR. Other activities help keep the batteries going. This lower vibration is only temporary. I now know this is the month when my energy is at its lowest. WRITING helped me recognize this.

Until next week,...

Take a deep breath and shine on, fellow creatives.

Naddy / Nadine