Fewer Tricks and a Quiet Treat

Every year since my daughter started school, I used a vacation day on Halloween. I used to volunteer at her school on this day. In recent years I have used the day to “try” relaxing.

The key word here is “try.”

Each year I start the day with great intentions. Instead, the day would go like this:

• Take my daughter to school and admire all the cool kids’ costumes;

• Rush home to do chores & cook an early dinner;

• Stress about not having dinner ready in time and not doing enough chores;

• Drag my daughter home even though she wants to stay after school to play with friends;

• Quickly eat earlier than usual and feel full after a few bites;

• Run around the neighbourhood with my child as she’s trick-or-treating;

• Stress in silence about not getting “enough” done, not knowing what “enough” meant.

I ended up more exhausted at the end of the day than when I started.  To drown my sorrows, I would get high on candy with the family right before going to bed. Yup, this logic makes sense! It would be back to my 9-5 job the following day, experiencing a sugar crash and regretting the one vacation day I used up in the middle of the week to wind down which I didn’t.

I had no expectations for Halloween 2023 to be different. However, this year would not include me trick-or-treating. My daughter wanted to go out with a friend whose family planned to take the kids to a neighbourhood across town. An evening to myself?  Sweet…

I dropped my daughter off at school in the morning as I usually do on Halloween. Instead of rushing home, I spent a few hours catching up with a parent over coffee. I was not at all stressed about rushing home to cook or clean.

When I did arrive home my husband already started prepping a big batch of stew. Dinner was pretty much taken care of.  I took the extra time to write, research, and touch base with a few friends. 

Something was different this year… and I’m not talking about the lack of potato chips my daughter received in her treat stash.

My perception of a DAY OFF changed.

I remember my husband sharing with me his thoughts on vacations and days off for years: you don’t always have to physically LEAVE a place to recharge.  You can re-center right where you’re at. “Create YOUR oasis in your mind,” he would tell me. Only recently I paid attention to his mantra.  

Recently = October 31, 2023.

As soon as I woke up on the morning of October 31st, I thought about how grateful I was to have the day off. I set the stage to chill out in my mind. I stopped looking at the day off as a chore, or trick, and more like a treat. 

Daily writing played a huge factor in this mindset shift. Why didn’t it work last year?

Writing in the Fall of 2022 was still new, experimental and scary. I believe I was still holding back. Today I have over 600 days of daily reflection (vs 200+ days last October) plus multiple newsletters and personal essays to learn from. Seeing patterns in my craft and earlier behaviour helped determine if I wanted to carry forward certain habits and routines.

I discovered through journaling I stress about small things and over time they become larger in my mind. I am teaching myself how to break from these thoughts (whether I use self-care tips or something else). 

How did I do this?

✅ I stopped multitasking.

Many of our lives revolve around screens. Many days I catch myself typing on the computer as I look at my phone with the TV blaring in the background.  This isn’t a talent, it’s socially accepted insanity. Handwriting first thing in the morning is a way to stay away from screens and be creative with words.  I am not anti-tech (despite my fears of the rise of SKYNET), yet I don’t need tech in my face 24/7.  

✅ I went outside.

I am guilty of staying indoors as I work from home many days in the week. When I am at the office I don’t LEAVE the office until I go home. I enjoy Halloween as an excuse to go for a walk and socialize with other parents. I was able to do this without trick-or-treating. I didn’t feel the need to look at the phone every two seconds while I was out, either.

✅ At times I did NOTHING (or close to nothing).

It is OK to be bored at times. I don’t always have to be ON. There were a few moments at home when I sat in the living room, not stressing about what to do next or what I should be doing.

After an “interesting” October, I am glad the month ended on a calmer note: sweet and not too spooky. 

There will be days when you need to be off in order to turn back on feeling refreshed (and not too high on sugar).

From a set-back to a come-back…

Here’s to you and November, fellow creatives.

Naddy / Nadine