I Misheard "Ebola" as "Egola"

I try to avoid political, religious and sensitive topics in my newsletter.  Still, it is hard to write this theme without making correlations to the “unprecedented times” event from five years ago. Many struggled, not only with the fear of an external virus, but with the one attacking their mind. As I share my journey and work through fears and limiting beliefs, I wondered if a creative endeavour is naturally infected by this internal virus.

One month ago, my husband Mark and I listened to a Twitter/X Space (a live public audio forum and discussion) hosted by two creatives we knew. One of the hosts shared recent struggles, referring to her technology coming down with some form of disease or virus. What some would have called a negative rant due to her tone of voice, I digested as an expression of her legitimate feelings towards the rise of Skynet and technology conspiring to eventually separate humans into individual bubbles once reliant on their services to stay connected.

Within her expression of love, I misheard a word she said about something her computer contracted.

“Mark,” I gasped. “Oh my goodness, did she say the EGOLA Virus???”

“Eee-BOW-LA,” Mark corrected. “She said EBOLA Virus.”

“Are you sure? I swore I heard her say the EGO-la Virus.” We laughed. A lightbulb went off. “But it works in this context, right?” Mark agreed.

The Space continued and Mark requested to speak. He shared with the hosts that I heard the words E-GO-la virus. Soon after, the name of the Space changed to “#JourneyWithin #IAM #consciousness perspectives egola virus.”

“Argh! They should capitalize EGO in the name,” I said. “I need to speak to correct them.”

“It’s fine, Nad,” Mark said. “Don’t own the name.”

“But I came up with it!”

“Sounds like you've got the virus,” he said as he slowly stepped away from me and covered his mouth and nose.

Was Mark right? Was I contagious? Did I catch the virus from Mark's phone to my ears? More importantly, did I own the word “Egola?”

Beware EGOLA

The Egola Virus is real, folks. This is no laughing matter or fake news. It is a sneaky virus that will make you believe many things that are not true, while making you disbelieve true things. It will be hard to decipher what to believe when you are isolated or mentally exhausted. Every individual will experience this virus differently. 

It will appear out of nowhere.

A simple frustration can explode before you realize what is taking place. Missing the bus, for example, because the bus driver showed up 30 seconds early could transform into a grand personal vendetta about the bus driver and the entire transit system. 

It is a good thing to express frustration constructively. However, do you ever get this way when creating:

• “The words won’t come to me.”  

• “I can’t use this paint. It is too wet.”

• “My computer (or “fill-in-the-blank” creative tool) is out to get ME.” 

“I” or “Me” is part of the ego. When the rants begin, the ego takes center stage and causes mental chaos, leading to both bragging and self-doubt. It turns interactions negative and makes you lose sight of your original flow.

Its origin comes from within

This virus was not created and spread by evil governments or secret labs. It is also not a product of an alien DNA plot. Its origin stems from fundamental human traits: ownership, individualism, and the desire for validation. When we individualize experiences and ground ourselves in “facts” and “beliefs” while separating ourselves from others, the virus surfaces.

It's extremely contagious

Egola spreads through exposure to others' negativity, a major factor in social media’s continued existence. The virus proliferates through the screen into your eyeballs and straight into your brain. No amount of masks, gloves, sanitizer, soaps, spyware, eyewear, horse pills, vaccines or other medication will protect you. Contraction is inevitable.

There is no escape from it

According to scientists, we all have Ego. It is not our enemy. Yet, our perceptions of ego fuel the virus. We love to tell people they are “too egoic,” which is similar to saying “you are human like me… only louder.” We tell people to “let go of your ego,” even though it can never leave.

Finding others with similar views may proliferate the virus within, while struggling with others who are not “on your side.” There are no sides in this contagious sphere. Viewpoints do not change the inevitable. We are all doomed… sort of.

What the heck does this have to do with creativity?

Side effects of Egola expand beyond anger. It can also display as thoughts of feeling inadequate or inferior. The viral rants will sound similar to jealousy, depression or paranoia.

When creatives share achievements, Egola whispers doubts and comparisons: 

“I could do that too... or is it all just failure?” In this case, who has the virus: the sharer of creative news or the jealous observer?

Is it egoic to want your name published on a book, inscribed on a pot or scribbled in the corner of a drawing or painting? When is seeking attention or credit for the things we create and share considered egoic? Is everything we create egoic?

Holy hoarding toilet paper, is it egoic to have this newsletter? Am I spreading the Egola Virus as you read this? These questions can lead to endless self-doubt while on this creative path.

Hope for humankind

How we perceive ego can shape our beliefs about the virus, reminding us of the power of compassion and understanding in our interactions. 

I try to lower the volume on my ego by learning to recognize its patterns. Open communication (through journaling or with others), creative expression, and focusing on my own path help me calm the virus’ impact.

Taming (not eliminating) infection

Together we can save our species from hoarding and overdoses on home-made banana bread. Honest communication is the key to resolving conflict and avoiding extremes. All perspectives are valid, whether they are entrenched in scientific theories or those the ego dismisses as "weirdos" for having different views or not confirming (e.g. not following the arrows on the grocery store floors).

Science and creativity are more similar than we realize. These quotes, from different perspectives, share the same message. 

The ego isn’t automatically in front of the wheel, yet we allow it to drive. The Egola Virus can be interpreted as having the ego in the driver's seat for too long. How long is “too long” is different for each individual. The virus appears through one's behaviour. When the infected are called out for their “egoic” behaviour, they continue the behaviour regardless, whether consciously or subconsciously. I am trying to decipher what is “too egoic.”

The good news is…

The term "Egola Virus" isn't new; it's been used humorously and negatively to describe ego for years. Mark is right. I don’t want to own the word Egola, nor do I want this limiting belief to hold me back from writing and communicating - even when I need to practice social distancing with others.

I do not have a clear answer to whether creativity should be considered egoic. There are too many layers to unravel in one newsletter. However, if I guide my ego, I believe I can navigate stronger communication. Understanding it empowers me to build stronger, more meaningful relationships.

So… what’s next?

I am still blooming. As I learn to embrace uncertainty, I pose questions that get people stirred to investigate for themselves. I don’t want to “tell” simply for follows and likes. I want to share my journey and inspire others to create, mindful of spreading misinformation. 

The Egola Virus may be defined as one’s ego out of sync. As the virus adapts, it can range in symptoms and could eventually lead to death of one's “self.” No set of rules will be able to change the inevitable - Egola will do whatever it takes to sit in the driver’s seat.

I am no expert in ego or viruses. I’m simply exploring these ideas with words. We all grapple with Egola. A healthy ego is a healthy sense of self. When we are healthy, it is easier to determine who’s at the wheel. Self-awareness and compassion are key. The only unprecedented time I want to experience now is the interdependent understanding of managing our egos together.

Wishing you well, fellow creatives.

Nadine