Who Has The Wheel?

There has been much change in my life in the past few weeks.  Change is a constant in life, whether it is expected or not. We cannot control change, only how we react to it. So far, I’ve been pleased with my reaction to these major life changes.

Our reactions to change may stem from specific thoughts or states of mind we believe to be true.  Some of these beliefs may restrict us in negative ways. How often in your life have you heard yourself say something similar to:

• I never have enough time.

• I am not good enough.

• I will never be like (fill in the blank).

• Nobody cares about me.

• I will never get better at (fill in the blank).

• This needs to be perfect.

• I am not worthy of love/happiness.

• There is no point in trying.

• Nobody “gets me.”

These statements are considered “limited beliefs.”  Whether they are true or not, these beliefs can hold us back in times of change. It is difficult to adapt to new scenarios when we determine there is no time and unworthy of changes in our lives. 

A limiting belief is another form of fear formulated into what our mind accepts as concrete, articulated statements. These statements attempt to convince the NOW mindset to submit to its limited truth. 

Limiting beliefs surround us at all times during the creative process, whether we realize it or not. I carried one for over a decade: “My writing isn't good enough to share.” I overcame this fear by daily writing and journaling, networking with other creatives, and distributing this newsletter. When this limiting belief tries to creep back, I know it isn't true.

Limiting beliefs can go into “stealth mode” - hiding in our subconscious - for a long time. They may still reside in the driver's seat as an invisible force, and you don't realize who or what is driving. I discovered one of these “stealth” beliefs this week when somebody asked me why I wasn't pursuing a writing career. And my immediate response was: “I can't make money as a writer. I don’t have the experience. I don’t have a portfolio to show anybody who asks for one. I am not good enough to get paid writing for a living.”

YIKES. The words came out of my mouth naturally. I didn’t even think about it. And it sounded so convincing. Heck, I was convinced!

Despite two years of sharing this journey, I still carry limiting beliefs about writing. More specifically, I hold onto a limiting belief about not being able to have a career or make money as a writer without a specific style. 

It is impossible to create lasting goals or intentions (or resolutions, if you are into those) when we continue to hold onto limiting beliefs.

I don’t believe in “kicking to the curb,” murdering, starving, or otherwise getting violent with a thought. Similar to how I work with my fears, I want to work through and with my limiting beliefs:

• Acknowledge the limiting belief(s) or statement(s) holding space in my mind (when not in stealth mode).

• Learn what triggers set off this belief. Positive comments or flattery are one trigger I’ve identified. At one point in my life, I decided I was not worthy of positive reinforcement. When the positivity comes my way, the limiting belief rears its ugly head. (Hooray, I found another limiting belief. Yay to me, sort of)!

• Ask if I believe this statement is true. 

• Decide if I want it to be true.

• If not, I need to stop fueling it.

• Create a new belief or statement.

• Have both beliefs sit next to each other for a while. What feels better?

The longer a limiting belief infiltrates the mind, the more one believes it as truth. The late Louise Hay shared how to change the thoughts holding us back and reinforce new ones with daily affirmations. For example, if a limiting belief is “I can’t afford it,” she would recommend rephrasing the statement as: “I am connected to an unlimited source of abundance.”  

Talking with other creatives is a way to identify limiting beliefs and share similar stories. I am blessed to have daily discussions about the creative mindset with my husband, Mark. As a multi-disciplinary artist, he continues to work with and change his limiting beliefs. He prefers to refer to limiting beliefs as the Ego running amuck in the mind, based on the illusion of an expectation - something we believe should be the way. “This (limiting belief) is presenting you with a different truth,” Mark reminds me. “But do you want it to work? There are multiple opinions around you. You can pivot to another opinion that works better. If the belief is not serving you, do it another way. The Ego will try to stay behind the steering wheel. Instead, let the Ego ride shotgun. It doesn't need to run the show.”

A key to changing limiting beliefs is to recognize there is a choice. Change brings times of blooming and withering.  Limiting beliefs will try its best to wither. To bloom, determine what beliefs serve you best and work alongside this change.

When we choose to live in the present moment, fears dissipate and limiting beliefs have less control.

Beliefs that do not serve you should not have control of the steering wheel. The limitless mindset, adaptable to any road conditions along the way, will serve better in the long run.

I am grateful that this limiting belief (“I cannot make an income writing what I want”) came to the surface at this time in my life while working through other major milestones and changes. It is a statement I am more than happy to take the steering wheel from.

Happy driving, fellow creatives.

Nadine