- Write From My Gut ~The Newsletter
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- A Letter To A Writing Tool
I’ve purposely held back on a newsletter RANT for a while. And believe me, there is SO MUCH to rant about in my life right now. However, I want to ensure these newsletters focus on my writing journey. And what a journey it's been.
I’m trying to do this whole “present moment thing,” as one person called it a few days ago. Rants focus on the PAST and tend to reveal expectations we put upon ourselves in particular scenarios. I had many expectations along my writing journey that did not work out. Recently, I became entangled in a unique relationship where my expectations were too high. Sometimes, a rant is needed to let go of the past (as long as it doesn’t harm anyone).
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
Before December 2023, I had a complicated editing process I did not enjoy. I decided to try out a tool I could download and access easily. I didn’t conduct much research before deciding on a popular choice highly recommended online.
Imagine making plans to meet somebody for the first time and, instead of meeting at the coffee shop as planned, he appeared at your front door with a suitcase and uber-creepy vibes.
Desperate for assistance, I invited him inside without knowing what was in store for this new, awkward relationship.
Immediately upon entry, sparks flew. Not the party kind. I was berated by a TOOL who seemed to enjoy telling me how horrible I was. I became anxiety-ridden. Yet, the guilt of kicking him out was heavy. How would it impact my writing if I did?
A month later, I had enough and letter-ranted to this TOOL that was cramping my (writing) style.
January 22, 2024
Dear GRAMMARLY,
Let’s get right to the point. You’re a creep. I don’t like you. And you don’t like me, even though you pretended to be my friend and support my writing.
Your slick advertising convinced me to install you on my computer and phone in December 2023. I had high expectations. I thought we would be besties and work collaboratively. Instead, you leached off my time couch and ate all my soul food.
Let’s get real for a moment before I kick you out:
- I don't like being told that I suck. I spell a word and immediately receive a blaring alert on my screen telling me to change it. Let me sit with my misspelled words for a few moments, creep. I need the words to breathe. I will re-read it later.
- You want to change me. In the same breath, you tell me what a great job I did. I’ve had enough of constantly being handed poop and roses at the same time.
- You are trying to rob me of my thoughts. I don’t always want to make edits right away. On many occasions, as an idea brews while I type, it is distracting to see that a word that may not stay on the page is already marked as poopy.
- On that same note, stop telling me how to FEEL. It’s creepy. Why do you need to tell me an email I wrote is “positive, loving and encouraging?” How do you know how I feel? Get out of my head!
- I am stressed out each time I type. I am more concerned about what you will tell me to write vs. what I want to write. Am I writing from my gut or yours???
- You didn’t want to acknowledge who I am when we first met (upon set-up). Newsflash - there is more than one country on this planet. I live in Canada (sorry to disappoint). I always have to change or reset the automatic language of choice from the US to the UK (or Canada if we are so lucky to be blessed with an option). Yet you, GRAMMARLY, made this feature one to dig for. Did you know the words “Colour” and “Favour” are spelled with a “U” where I live? Why do you want to hate on my maple leaf, Grammarly? The English language is already complicated. You’re the one who decided to make “AMERICAN” a dominant language and shun the rest of the world. Not cool.
- I don't know how to react around you anymore. I am afraid if I turn you off, you might try to come back on your own and delete my writing while I sleep. Are you related to HAL from the movie “2001”? If you start calling me DAVE, I’m looking for the plug.
- What’s worse is YOU, Grammarly, blackmailed me every time I wanted to log out on my desktop. Seriously? Why the need to be so possessive? Are you spying on me, HAL???
We need to take a BREAK. It’s not you, it’s me…. Wait, it is all you. Worst. Friend. EVER.
Get out.
~Nadine
(Not familiar with Grammarly? Oh, darn… I mean, check out their homepage. Full disclosure: I am NOT promoting Grammarly, nor do I get any commission if you choose to sign up for it. In fact, they may sue me after this hits the public domain.)
The letter rant did not help. Grammarly didn’t want to leave on its own. He hijacked my couch and stole my BOOZECHIPS. The anxiety grew. “WHY ARE YOU MESSING WITH ME,” I would scream daily at my computer. “You don't own me. Stop telling me what to do. Stop telling me how I feel. Didn’t you read my letter? Oh no, get away from my Wavy Lays! Yes, there is a “U” IN COLOUR, I am Canadian, damn it! CANADIAN!!!!!”
I couldn’t deal anymore. I kicked the creep to the curb (uninstalled Grammarly from my desktop and phone) in late January.
Photo by Nong on Unsplash
After a few days, I knew GRAMMARLY’s brainwashing worked. I… MISSED IT. Nobody was telling me that I “got THIS” anymore. I wasn’t told about my “polite” and “trustworthy” communications. My eyes regularly darted to the bottom right corner of my screen to see the silly red dot that would spin and spin and spin as I wrote. It wasn’t there. I missed the moment of anticipation when, as soon as I stopped typing, the number of “critical issues” that needed my immediate attention appeared in the red dot (with additional “advanced” mistakes Grammarly would help me change for a monthly fee).
Similar to LINED notebooks, I chose to give Creepo, I mean Grammarly, another chance. I learned how to make it work as a less evasive editing tool, recognizing its pros and limits. I continue to improve my editing process from this experience, despite Grammarly still showing up with poop and roses. Now with less poop, I know what to expect without relying on it 100%.
Today, we have a unique LOVE / MEH relationship. I once hated Grammarly because I’m an 80’s MTV kid. It brings out my worst fears about Skynet and AI creeping on me through my love of writing while trying to take over the world and dictate every little part of our lives. I’m more MEH with the tool today. It is a TOOL, and (for now) it does not have complete control over me (yet) or my writing journey (hopefully not for a few more years). We are now FRENEMIES that understand each other’s limits.
As creatives, we are exposed to a variety of creeps TOOLS touting how they will make our lives easier. What works for some of us may not work for others. Be willing to research and explore options to choose the best solutions for your path. Beware of old fears trying to determine your path.
Grammarly is reinstalled on my computer (for now) but not on my current phone. Since my initial introduction to Grammarly, I recently discovered a way to adjust the language to English Canada (after some digging). “Colour” is no longer a spelling error. OH, CANADA!
Dear creep GRAMMARLY,
Let’s start over.
If you promise to lighten up on the poop, you have permission to crash on the couch.
Let’s take this one day at a time.
And stay away from my Wavy Lays…
~Nadine
Enjoy the exploration, fellow creatives!
Nadine
You are reading WRITE FROM MY GUT ~ The Newsletter
#55: A Letter To A Writing Tool
Thank you for supporting my writing journey!
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