One mile at a time

I’m not sure why, but Eddie Murphy’s “Party All The Time” earwormed into my head earlier this week as I started writing pieces for this newsletter.

Nothing in the song’s lyrics relates to what I am writing about in this edition. Yet, as the song continued to suck on brain cells, I can’t help but applaud Eddie Murphy’s accomplishment at a pinnacle time in his successful career.

The year was 1985. The Handmaid's Tale was a bestselling BOOK. “New Coke” was released (we don’t talk about it - too traumatic). Michael Jordan was named “ROOKIE of the Year.” The #1 movie “Back to the Future” forever changed how we look at time travel and DeLoreans. And a GIGAWATT was unimaginable.

Eddie Murphy was in his ‘80’s prime, already known for his raunchy stand-up comedy and big-budget Hollywood movies. He achieved a high level of fame & success that many African Americans before him could only dream of. And he could have destroyed his entire career (and countless others) because of one pursuit.

Eddie released the 8-track studio album “How Could It Be” in 1985. With the help of Rick James and MTV, his single “Party All The Time” reached #2 on the Billboard charts for three weeks and achieved Platinum status.

The true milestone for Eddie was to prove he could sing (following a $$$ bet he had with fellow comedian/actor Richard Pryor).

Do you think Eddie Murphy was pissed off that he only reached #2 on the charts, being held off only by Lionel Ritchie’s “Say You, Say Me”? I would like to believe he was too busy celebrating his win over Prior (rather than wallowing in the sorrow of being #2) while working on a new film.

What does any of this have to do with my newsletter today?

Maybe nothing. But just in case, let me provide another non-writing example to confuse you more…

Once upon a time, aka 13 years ago, I was hooked on speedwalking. By mid-2012, I took part in two half-marathons (each a distance of 21km) and a 30km race. I decided to step it up and participate in my first marathon. WALK my first marathon.

I made it to my destination - Hawaii - in December 2012. A few factors nearly held me back from finishing the race:

1. We were unprepared for the Hawaii “VOG” that made Marathon Day extremely hot and humid;

2. I was overwhelmed by the 25,000 other participants with no spatial sense;

3. I nearly “hit the wall” at 37km; and

4. I was 12.5 weeks pregnant.

Yes, it was demoralizing when somebody dressed in a full-sized PIKACHU outfit passed me. It/ was scary when I started feeling cramps at the 30km marker. It was disappointing at the moment when I realized I wasn't going to hit my time goal. I was worried that my husband would not be able to find me after the race, which he also participated in as a runner.

I finished 22 minutes later than I originally planned. I still managed to throw mental confetti when I passed significant mile-markers along the way. And I will never forget that incredible sunrise at 6am (the race started at 5am in the dark).

I look back at that race often, sometimes in disbelief. I flew from Toronto, Canada to Oahu, Hawaii and WALKED 42km in the VOG with my unborn child. And I only needed to pee once. WHOO-HOO!

Fast forward to 2023.

Last week I shared a recap of my first 100 writing days. It was a bit of a struggle to write. I felt embarrassed to observe a significant milestone publicly. I continue to struggle with determining what is worthy of celebrating.

However, I believe part of being a creator recognizes WINS of all sizes so that we can continue creating beautiful things.

I am trying something different this year with how I view milestones, particularly when it comes to my writing journey:

✅ Celebrate milestones regardless of the size.

• I view the song “Party All The Time” as a huge milestone for Eddie Murphy. He may see it as a tiny blip in his career. Does that make it more or less worthy for him to “party all the time?” Absolutely not!

• Finishing the marathon was the highlight of my “walking” journey.” Since then, I have participated in smaller 5km races. Many of those races became milestones I celebrate just as much as my marathon.

✅ A milestone should not be impacted by others’ perceptions of what is “worthy” of celebrating, including my own.

• Some people may say your WINS are not worthy of celebration. I say fuck them.  I learned the importance of surrounding myself with the right group of people where accomplishments are shared without judgement. One person’s coal is another person’s diamonds.

• I used to find it too easy to dump on myself and believed that my WINS were not worth celebrating. The more I chose to commiserate with myself and others, the more I trained myself and others to continue the behaviour of LACK. The negative self-talk kept me from even trying. Documentation helps to recognize the self-talk and find those diamonds buried in the coal.

✅ Use specific milestones to motivate future goals. 

• Whenever I think about not being able to achieve a specific goal, I remind myself about my pregnant Hawaii marathon. Everything seems achievable when compared to my accomplishment in December 2012. 100 days of writing? Easy peasy! Launching a newsletter? No problem! Writing a book? Come on, give me a CHALLENGE!!! World domination? It’s coming…

I am not trying to diminish GOAL setting & attainment. Celebrating milestones is not about what goals you ultimately hit. It’s about celebrating the JOURNEY towards those goals, not the final destination.

Does this mean we shouldn’t set goals?

Absolutely not!

Goals are still essential to help determine which fork on the path to take toward your destination. We can keep the momentum going by celebrating the milestones along the way.

“Party All The Time” became unstuck from my mind by midweek. It was replaced with Digital Underground’s 1990 hit single “The Humpty Dance” on Wednesday morning (please don’t ask about my musical tastes). I can’t help but smile and jig to both songs when I hear them. Maybe these random earworms are meant to be reminders to stop and acknowledge this part of the journey as I follow my gut.

Thanks for joining the party with me every step of the way!

~Naddy/Nadine