The Path of Selfishness

Starting a new writing journey was challenging enough. Staying on it is a different challenge. In the beginning, it would have been easy to give up on writing (as I’ve done in the past). I didn’t understand until later how important the routine and expectations established at the start encouraged me to stay on this path.

Full disclosure: I have not landed on the “perfect” writing routine. I don’t know what “perfect” means. Writing is important to me so I make an effort to adapt as changes happen in my life. Flexibility and patience are key for me to maintain a daily routine. It helps me to write more, write better, and keep the ideas flowing.

I am not sure how I do it daily…other than being pretty darn selfish!

“Pre-selfish” me of the past wrote & journaled inconsistently from a young age. Certain experiences turned me off from my passion. As LIFE got in the way I would put others’ needs above my own and find excuses to quit writing again.

“I can’t write today, because… (fill in the blank).”

These statements spread like wildfire to all the thoughts in my head for years. Eventually, I didn’t recognize the infected thoughts from the truth anymore. The fear of starting something new consumed me.

I knew something had to change after my “WOW” moment last year.

With a family, a busy 9-5 job, cats and Y&R, finding free time for myself was always a daunting task. Yet I was determined this time around to dedicate time to writing. These precious minutes needed to be only for me.

I was not used to putting myself first. Writing in the past, as much as I loved it, was done to please others before myself. This new journey would take a different approach. I wanted to make time in my life to make me happy.

“Operation Selfish” was on!

First, I asked myself:

• When would be the most productive, uninterrupted time to write?

• How much time can I dedicate to writing?

• What is considered a “successful” writing day?

My brain wakes me early in the mornings, regardless of the day of week. It made sense to establish a MORNING routine. It’s the time of the day when I can have uninterrupted ME-time.

Once I chose a time of day, I reviewed other tasks competing for my writing time - exercise, TV, making breakfast for my family, laundry, etc.. I prioritized writing and certain morning activities over others in advance.

On January 31, 2022, I settled on a new “selfish” morning routine to start the next day:

• Wake up by 5:25 am; and

• Write for the first 15 minutes.

That was it!

Maybe it was too simple. And, believe it or not, this simple change I was about to make in my life frightened me.

I quickly noticed positive improvements in my life with 15 dedicated minutes of writing. I became less stressed, more productive throughout the day, and had more time for other activities. I craved the daily routine - both body and mind. I kept the morning ritual above through the first 100 days of my writing journey.

15 minutes expanded to 20 minutes, then 30 minutes. Now I wake up earlier and write for as long as my pen and paper want to meet. There are days I can write for over an hour, both on the computer and in my hard-copy journal, before starting the rest of my day.

My routine is not set in stone. If I’m awake at 3am, I’ll write in the moment. There are other days when I barely have anything to write. I don’t stress about the length of time or the amount I write like I did when I first started. On occasions when I can’t get to morning words, I will write later in the day.

Changes to my environment, the four seasons, and other routines also impact my morning ritual. I try hard to protect this sacred time of the day without the guilt if I need to modify it on the fly.

Twitter/X is also a part of my writing routine but not a fixed one. As an accountability tool, I enjoy sending out a morning tweet (or Post - whatever, you’re still TWITTER to me forever!) to publicly document where I’m at on my writing journey. There are days when I don’t tweet. My selfish self holds no remorse. I’ve enjoyed meeting and engaging with other writers who are also writing at a similar time in the mornings (hello, #5amwritersclub!).

Many writers and creators have routines that I admire but would never copy. I enjoy researching various methods to see if any new learnings are adaptable to my current routine.

The most important things about my daily routine I take to heart:

• It can’t feel like a CHORE;

• It needs to be flexible; and

• I don’t get hard on myself if and when I make adjustments

Not everybody understands why I became selfish with my writing. It was not easy for me to take this approach. I assumed I was labelled as “selfish" because I put myself first. In reality, I prioritized my self-care for the first time and continue to share my learnings with others. “Operation Selfish,” in this context, continues to be a success.

I was able to start writing regularly by creating a realistic routine with the least impact on those closest to me. Being “selfish" helped to create more balance in my life by following my passion for writing.

It took a daily writing routine to put myself first. And I have no regrets.

Enjoy the week, fellow creators! Remember to always make time for the things that make you happy.

Naddy / Nadine